Life Lessons on Healthy Friendships: What God Taught Me at 63

My Friendship Wake-Up Call

Have you ever struggled with friendships? I have – most of my life. These are the 5 Life Lessons from Heaven on Healthy Friendships God taught me last year when He revealed a heart-wrenching truth:  ALL my friendships were unhealthy. Why? 

Because I was the unhealthy one. First, no one taught me how to develop healthy friendships growing up, so at age 63, I’m learning Life Lessons from Heaven about relationships.

Through forgiveness—letting go of hurt from myself and others—God brought deep heart healing. The more I sought Him, the more He revealed.

Here’s the good news: You can receive these lessons too. The righteous should choose his friends wisely. (Proverbs 12:26)

Therefore, these 5 Life Lessons from Heaven will help you build friendships that honor God.

First, He taught me to pay attention to my feelings.

Feeling Friendships

Life Lessons on Healthy Friendships: Feelings Matter

After a phone call with a friend, the Lord asked me, “How did that conversation make you FEEL?”

I wasn’t an ’emotions guy,’ but I had to face it. My friend shared drama and negativity. ‘Lord,’ I admitted, ‘I feel icky and down.’

Conversations impact our emotions – and ours impact our friends.

“Never underestimate the power of an encouraging word.” – John Maxwell

What friends don’t know: They might be carrying heavy burdens when you call. Your one loving word can change their entire day. The next time you talk with a friend, decide how you can help your friend feel uplifted and encouraged.

However, feelings are just the beginning—God showed me time investment comes next…

Investing Friendships

Life Lessons on Healthy Friendships: Time Investment

I love this Life Lesson God taught me: Invest in what you want to grow. That holds true in friendships, too.

When you want friendships to grow deeper, you must prioritize time investment. Jesus told Philip in The Chosen, “If we don’t make time for friends, we won’t have any.”

Here’s the reality check:

Friends are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

99% of your friendships are for reasons/seasons only.

How many elementary school friends do you still have?

Ask the Lord daily, ” Who do You want me to invest in?” Once He shows you, then reach out to them and let them know you want to invest in your friendship with them.

Most friends are temporary, but God gives divine timing for each one. Also, remember what Solomon shared, To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under Heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

However, time alone isn’t enough—God revealed friendships need mutual care…

Watering Friendships

Life Lessons on Healthy Friendships: Mutual Watering

How can anything grow unless it’s watered? God gave me this analogy: Friendships are like plants.

When introduced to someone, it’s like planting a seed. That seed needs water to grow—just like friendships need mutual care.

Then God showed me an unhealthy plant. “For friendships to flourish,” He said, “it takes two to water it.

Watering means:

Sharing meals

Investing time together

Praying with one another

“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” – William Shakespeare

Additionally, the Lord led me to evaluate if there was anyone who was only taking and receiving in our relationship. Love is about both giving and receiving, true?

I also prefer a ‘Balanced Relationship’, especially when it comes to conversations. Have you ever had conversations when your friend does 80% of the talking? What is that telling you about that friendship?

Water friendships with unconditional love, time, meals, and prayer. But remember: it takes two.

Two people can water a friendship, and it still withers. Finally, God showed me why: ‘News Reporter Friends’ who never ask about you…

News Reporter Friendships

Life Lessons on Healthy Friendships: Spot News Reporter Friends

One day, the Lord gave me this eye-opening revelation about friendships. He revealed ‘News Reporter Friends’—friends who only talk about themselves, creating one-sided friendships that broadcast their lives but never tune into yours.

First, I felt that if they truly cared, they’d ask about my life like I asked about theirs—what really matters to them.

Once God opened my eyes, I began to pay attention to what my friends were saying. We all want to share what’s new in our lives and what matters most to us. How do you feel when it’s always a one-way conversation?

“Friendship … is born at the moment when one man says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought that no one but myself…”― C.S. Lewis

What to do when friends only talk about themselves? Here’s the caring way to share:

First, lovingly make them aware of their pattern and how one-sided conversations make you feel. Then examine yourself: Are you just talking about your life, or asking questions about their hearts?

Finally, all these lessons come together in Doable Friendships—let me show you how…

Doable Friendships

Life Lessons on Healthy Friendships: Your Doable Roadmap

God showed me healthy friendships are simple and doable—here’s the roadmap you can follow.

After learning these Life Lessons on healthy friendships, here’s what works:

1. Feel honestly – Pay attention to how conversations leave you feeling
2. Invest time – Ask the Lord daily who He wants you to reach out to
3. Water together – Make sure both people are pouring into the friendship
4. Listen first – Ask about their heart, not just share yours
5. Encourage always – Your loving words can change their whole day

Your Life Lessons on Healthy Friendships Start Today

God helped me understand my friendships through these simple heavenly lessons. Now it’s your turn.

At age 63, I learned what no one taught me growing up. You don’t need complicated systems—just apply these 5 steps.

Start small: Pick one friend today. Feel honestly, invest time, water together, listen first, encourage always. Apply these life lessons on healthy friendships and watch them grow and flourish.

The righteous choose friends wisely. (Proverbs 12:26). Your words carry life—use them to build God’s kingdom through relationships.

Categorised in: Life Lessons

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